I was once in a very serious accident. I was thirteen years old. I was road kill on the side of the road. I was still alive. It was the end to a great summer and what better way to spend a summer night then delivering cookies to neighborhood friends. We enjoyed getting around on our moped's, that's what we spent most of our time doing since school had been dismissed for summer break. All around the town we drove, but little did we know this night would be different.
The sun went down and we were blocks away from home when a car flew around the corner. The light was all I remember seeing. Exactly as if I was slowly making my way to heaven, however it was the headlights of a young driver with his girlfriend in the passenger seat next to him. The last thing I heard was a scream. A scream of great fear, and suddenly an accident before my eyes. Barefoot in the middle of the road the blood was everywhere. The people around me in a gaze yet a moment so clear for me. Never unconscious or unresponsive I dialed 911, I put my shirt to my head and I stood there and watched as everyone around me froze. They couldn't believed what had happened. Yet neither could I. As I looked at the windshield ahead of me, I couldn't believe I was still breathing. When medical help arrived they told me I was in a serious accident. I didn't believe them. I was fine. I was awake, I felt no pain. Even though my face and body had flew head on into a windshield. I knew I was going to be okay and as I take myself back to that moment from time to time. I realized I was in shock because when I woke up the next day, and really processed what happened. I was a miracle.
Sometimes I think we all find ourselves in a "State of Shock." We prepare ourselves for life's challenges. We know what we signed up for. Yet we never really understand tell we have to overcome it. We try to prepare ourselves by putting emotions into our minds of what we should expect to feel, but nothing can actually measure up to the significance it will have once we experience it. In a couple months I loose a great friend. A boy I have watched become a man, and a love that I really was never able to let go of. He is going to be serving a full time mission. Something that I think is absolutely fabulous. I wouldn't have it any other way, however there's nothing I can do to prepare myself for what it's going to be like when he is gone. As much as we talk about him leaving. It has never really processed to me that he is going to be gone for two years.
The closer it get's the more I start to become aware, and the more thought I put into the more I start to wonder if I should just run, however if there is one thing I have learned it's to never run away from your problems. The small beginning to this experience has really made me realize how we take the minutes of our lives for granted. I look back on every memory over the past two years, and remind myself if I ever find moment's like that in my life. I promise to hold on tight, and cherish every second. I wish I could say loosing you will be easy because it won't, but what I can say is I'll always hold on to an amazing friendship.
