You stay strong for so long and then you finally just crack, and suddenly everything around you feels damaged. Your scared, and worried, and doubtful of what real happiness means. You know how to get there but the strength, courage, and desire you sometimes feel isn't always there to reassure you everything going to be okay. How can everything suddenly be okay when your heavy heart can't seem to feel lightweight. I can feel your pain, you young, sad, broken hearted women, and if I could touch your soul. I would take it all away. No one deserves to feel so afraid. Life patiently waits for us to fly. Free and majestic. We deserve the world. We deserve love. We believed the risk was worth it all. We see the diamonds in the rough and the sparkle of every human beings smile. We enjoy every mortal moment we have. We bring life into other peoples life, and spend so much time thinking of others. Our own life diminishes. I can’t be wearing myself out for you. And each day I believe i’m becoming more like myself again. With each day that i think about you less, I know I’m leading towards what is better for me. But there are no days yet that I go without thinking about you. And the part of me that thinks about you doesn’t want to stop. And it’s tearing me apart. I literally feel this ache inside me when I think about you, how is that possible?
Never mind that you were my first lover. Never mind that once, you held my heart in your hand. Never mind that you have discovered all of me, my every flaw and freckle. The problem is my house. You’ve left your memory in all the rooms and your lips on all the cups. Your faded image flickers as it lounges on my kitchen chair smiling, like a dream my house is having. I want to let you go. I need to. My heart is mine now, it hasn’t skipped an honest beat to breath your name in a while. But the problem
isn’t my heart. The problem is my house because in it, you’re everywhere to me.
I think of you in colors that don't even exist.
