Saturday, March 3, 2012

I Just Want to be Yours.

Letting him into my life was really easy, but when it was over it was really hard to forget everything that happened when it was such a big part of my life. After months of fighting and getting back together and really just a lot of time, I am starting to like the fact that we are so comfortable with each other, that we can laugh and joke and just be us like old times. Even though were not dating and he has a girlfriend, I am beginning to think that maybe thats a good thing. Maybe we are always meant to just be friends, like a brother sisters. However every single time we sit there and just keep looking at each other, we both know we will never just be friends. You may have a girlfriend, I may have a boyfriend, but between the two of us there is a lot of history, and you can’t erase history.
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I wish I could tell you how you make me feel. That every time someone says your name, even if they talk about another person, there is a thump in my stomach. Or that when you call me, or we talk on the phone, and you beg me not to hang up, my heart speeds up and I smile. Or  when you hold my hand in the dark. I never wanted to let go. Or when you tell me how happy you are that you have me, and how kind I always am, I want to tell you how I feel. I really wish I could tell you.
I wish I could tell you all this, and that you would feel the same, but I think I’ll never be able to. I’m too scared to loose you, to lose the friendship we have. But maybe some day I’ll be able to risk it. Just to have a chance of being with you. Maybe one day I finally will. Or you will.

I wish I could be only yours.
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