I guess I've been waiting for this moment much too long, and perhaps the reason why I'm always seeking approval. Whatever I do no matter what it be. If I want it, so does my heart. And that means I'm all in. I'll work above and beyond imaginable so that for two seconds someone can just look at me and say I'm so proud of you.
This entire week I worked my butt off in a sales training that people all over the united states were attending. When I stood up and said I was 19. It was a shock to many. I was the youngest by ten years. Learning the amount of information needed to understand the company in a week was vital but also exhausting. I had no more then four hours of sleep a night, and to and from drive time was three hours a day.
I was so focused I couldn't eat, sleep or stop to waste a minute of my time. I was determined to be the best.
After a weeks worth of this constant cycle I took the exam and got a whooping -2. I was stunned. I never thought I would be in the top five. Ex specially out of a class full of college graduates who had years of business experience. I was so excited to tell everyone. That class made me feel like I was a champion.
So I ran home to tell my family hoping we would go out and celebrate my accomplishment. It turns out my mom's response was. That's awesome. Then she invites me to go with her to take my sister to the movie with a bunch of her friends. I asked her if we could go to sushi later, and she told we could probably squeeze in subway while my sisters in the movie but she didn't want to drive fifteen minutes to have something else.
Who knew I wasn't worth an enjoyable meal and a good conversation.
So here I am laying on my bed just enjoying the peace. Wishing for just once I could get it right.In the meantime I'm proud of myself for putting myself out there and doing something truly challenging. I never gave up and knew what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, because the only person who fails is the person who throws in the towel, and I'm a fighter.
