Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my hear and whispered softly, " I want a new dad." FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
